all the pretty lights
by fiesa
Summary: When she sees him for the first time he's sitting in the university courtyard, his eyes closed, and ignores the world. (Spoiler: it goes downhill from there.) Drabble Collection- Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru. AU.
1. 1

**all the pretty lights**

 _Summary: When she sees him for the first time he's sitting in the university courtyard, his eyes closed, and ignores the world. (Spoiler: it goes downhill from there.) Drabble Collection- Yamanaka Ino, Nara Shikamaru. AU._

 _Warning: Experiment. Drabble collection, challenge: no more than 500 words per chapter. (Complete)_

 _Set: University AU._

 _Disclaimer: Standards apply._

 _A/N: So different. I think I haven't done anything like this in the past. Hence the warning for experimentalism._

* * *

 **1/25**

The courtyard never was quiet.

Shikamaru should have disliked it for that reason alone. But somehow, the voices of the many students milling across it that mixed with the sounds of the rustling leaves and birdsong, and the ever-changing sky above it carried a calming note. The up and down of the volume level correlated with the beginnings and endings of the lectures being held in the lecture halls surrounding the courtyard. At noon, when everyone headed towards the cafeteria purposefully, it was especially busy. Came the evening, it became quieter, the university not falling asleep completely but rather switching to night shift. Security detail, hassled grad students, people walking their dogs. Still people, still sounds – but subdued.

A world in itself.

Shikamaru should have disliked all that, as much as he disliked the hectic volume of the city and voices rising in anger and derision. He should have disliked it as much as he disliked large crowds and maybe even people in general. But the courtyard was like a detached universe, a world inside a bubble. He had found it on his second week at the new university; a busy, walk-through place that, nevertheless, seemed abandoned as soon as he closed his eyes.

" _Really_ , why can't the man see reason!"

Usually, he was able to shut out the voices in a way that blended them into the general white noise that was lunchtime. This time, however, a voice cut through his peace, sharp and loud. Usually, Shikamaru would just have kept his eyes closed, but something in the voice made him look up. His gaze travelled the courtyard to find the source: it was a blonde woman, dressed in a jeans and blouse, averagely tall and more or less pretty. She had not especially raised her voice and yet it carried, all the way over to where he sat on the stone wall. Shikamaru watched her through slanted eyes: high heels, handbag, very – from what he knew – fashionably dressed. Impeccably, even. She was with another woman with almost pink hair who looked as enraged as the blonde one, and a blond guy who appeared to be desperately trying to give invisibility a shot. _My deepest sympathies._ If it wouldn't have been so troublesome, Shikamaru would have snorted.

"I've been telling her," blondie said, her voice sharp. "But she just won't listen. Why does she keep doing it? He has a brain of the size of a peanut! She has to realize…"

Shikamaru tuned out her rant.

The two women and the man continued on through the courtyard and towards the western exit that led to building that housed the humanities. This time, he did snort in disdain.

Psychologists.


	2. 2

**2/25**

Ino wasn't sure when she saw him for the first time.

Maybe he just was there, from one day to the other, just as the sun became warm enough to thaw the snow and the path through the inner courtyard between the cafeteria and the labs reverted back from a death trap to a normal, accessible path. Maybe she had walked past him many times before and just hadn't noticed him; it was possible. Ino was pretty sure she paid enough attention to her surroundings every day, but she wasn't known for her memory when it came to things that did not interest her much.

The first thing she noticed were his eyes: they were always closed. He didn't seem asleep, though. More like he was just sitting there, in the university courtyard, a bottle of water and a sandwich next to him, and was taking in his surroundings. She never saw him move but that didn't mean much: the way through the courtyard took her less than a minute, and human beings were capable of sitting immobile like that if they wanted to. Granted, the average student nowadays might have an attention span no longer than a youtube video, but those weren't the people Ino was interested in either way. So, one Wednesday, they were on their way back from lunch, Sakura animatedly telling Naruto about their newest lab assistant (causing Naruto to look like a kicked puppy and moan that it was boring being in the lab on the other end of the building and never seeing them), and Ino was punctuating her story with details here and there, and they passed through the courtyard.

"What about those RISE students?" Naruto asked, and Sakura burst out laughing.

"Kakashi said we were to make sure there was some eye-candy for the senior researchers among them."

Her boyfriend leered. "Yes, please – owww, Sakura!"

The guy was sitting on the wall.

Right next to the steel rotor blade from a shut-down nuclear power plant the Department for Microelectronics and Nanomaterials had bought and that was called art now (the institute had quite some humor). The moment Ino spotted him, the sun disappeared behind a cloud and his face was thrown into shadows.

He had dark hair that hung loosely unto his shoulders, and a sharp, angular face. He probably was tall – it was difficult judging his height from his seated position. There was nothing special in his appearance, nothing that would have caused her to look on a normal day. Still, something in the way he seemed almost… _not there?_ … caused Ino to look at him a second time.

From that moment on, she noticed him every day they passed through the courtyard.

* * *

 _A/N: Thank you for the reviews in the first chapter! I appreciate the constructive criticism and the enthusiasm. I also apologize for any grammar mistakes. I read and correct every chapter various times before posting, so this is the best English I have._


	3. 3

_A/N: First of all, thank you for the reviews. I really hope this story will live up to the expectations that are placed into it. Plot-wise, I can only say it will be slow. I don't know if some of you would even /call/ it a plot. Nevertheless, I will do my best. Thank you for your patience if you decide to stick with it, and thanks for trying it out if you decide to duck out now. (I can tell you here that they'll actually meet in two chapters.)_

* * *

 **3/25**

"But you said you would be there," Naruto whined.

He had a special voice for _you are breaking your promise and I am really, really hurt how could you do this to me don't you love me anymore_ , something Ino knew for a fact. Sometimes she wondered whether it was good that she knew things like that about Naruto. Being best friends with Sakura since infancy – and having watched her and Naruto together so often she sometimes thought of him as something very much like an annoying brother – was like balancing on a wire over an abyss. She loved Sakura and Naruto dearly. But sometimes, it was hard. Watching them, so obviously in love.

"I already told you Ino and I wanted to go shopping that evening," Sakura said, unfazed. "We talked about this, remember?"

"You can go shopping next week!"

"No, we can't. It's Italian Week at the supermarket, and I want to buy those cookies."

Naruto pouted. "You like cookies more than me!"

Ino was quite sure she should not be present for this discussion, but there she was, anyway. Arguments between Sakura and Naruto had the tendency to branch out and heat up, and she did not want to be caught in any one of them.

No spring sunshine today but grey mist, the fog their town was so famous for. The meteorological records claimed Hidden Leaf had the most foggy days _and_ the most sunny days a year. Right now, the fog was prevailing; sometimes Ino wondered whether the campus wouldn't just disappear into the misty air one day. With the fog came a freezing cold. People were crossing the courtyard as fast as possible in order to enter the warm cafeteria building.

"I love cookies," Sakura said and lifted her nose into the air in a mockingly arrogant gesture. "I also love books and good newspaper articles and coffee."

"And chemistry?" Naruto asked as a grin spread over his face, his earlier fake hurt already forgotten. They were on familiar terrain again, now heading in another quite predictable direction.

" _Of course._ "

"Don't we all." Ino added, dust-dry.

"You don't get to participate in this argument," Naruto told her, managing to seem as if he was looking down on her despite their merely little difference in height. "You studied _economy._ "

"Chemistry _and_ economy, and you know that very well."

"At least _some_ part of it was not in vain, then," Sakura remarked.

Ino rolled her eyes. _"Please."_

They wouldn't ever stop mocking her.

Her breath was billowing out in small clouds. The sunny days of the past week were forgotten again; winter had, apparently, decided on a comeback. Carefully, Ino checked her surroundings: there he was again.

Dark hair, messy and shoulder-length. A sharp nose. His eyes were closed, as usual, but she wasn't sure he actually was asleep.

It was too cold to sit outside in this weather, and yet there he was.

What a strange guy.


	4. 4

**4/25**

It was impossible to say how often she had seen him when spring finally began.

Maybe it was because Naruto, Sakura and Ino always went for lunch at the same time. Since they went at a time that allowed them to avoid the crowds of students leaving their lectures for lunch, that must mean he also wasn't a mere student anymore. Perhaps a doctorate student, like the three of them. Or assistant professor.

Or just someone enjoying a break in the university courtyard.

"I hate this guy!" Naruto declared bitterly. "I just hope he'll graduate quickly. Then I'll be the only one working on the project, and I won't ever have to work around his idiocy!"

"What did he do now?" Sakura asked.

"He changed the preparation temperature for the newest batch of thin films! How are we supposed to compare the results now? I swear, if that guy doesn't get his head out of his ass…"

"Makes one glad one isn't working with other project partners."

They knew all the stories of Naruto's co-worker. The sad part was that anyone who ever had known the guy agreed that he was… well.

"I envy you!" Naruto sighed.

The blue sky was cloudless, perfect. The mornings were still cool, but the sun was steadily gaining strength. Ino loved the warmth. Absent-mindedly, she said: "We should eat outside."

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Do we have to? It's _cold_."

"Yeah, why not?" Naruto supplied, enthusiastically. Then, his gaze turned mischievous. "We would escape the cafeteria, Sakura. That's a plus, right? I swear, with all these new students and their habit of first occupying a table and _then_ getting their lunch…"

Ino's gaze travelled over the courtyard and to the guy sitting there, in the same spot as the previous weeks. Dark hair, sharp face. Had he, she wondered, ever moved? Not that she had looked at him long whenever she _had_ looked. It would have seemed suspicious, and he might–

That was when he opened his eyes and looked straight at her.

His eyes were as dark as his hair.

 _Ah_ , Ino thought.

As if letting out a breath the world had been holding for too long already, a gust of wind swept through the courtyard.

A large group of giggling girls crossed their path. They were clearly headed for the psychology building which, regrettably, was housed in the new building directly connected to the chemistry labs. Which meant that the corridors in front of the chemistry labs were often crowded with the kind of females in high-heels and little brains that seemed to make up the general population of humanities-studying students. Unnecessary to say that more than three quarters of the latter were girls.

"Looks like the pre-courses for the new students have started," she remarked. And then, in the typical condescending way natural scientists seemed to always show towards students in humanities: "I bet they are here for the new engineering program."

Naruto laughed out loud.

Sakura snorted. "Psychologists."


	5. 5

**5/25**

Ino had never regarded the event the university departments so misleadingly called _Day of the Faculties_ as something else than a waste of time.

It did waste her time. She had to listen to stupid talks that did not interest her. She couldn't do anything worth the while in the lab. She couldn't do any useful desk work. Half of her day was missing, and in the end, the boss still would demand data for a new publication.

Two years into her PhD now and she was getting antsy.

"At least there's food," Naruto said and picked up a napkin. "These sandwiches look different than usual. Think they changed the catering service? Hey!"

Sakura snagged both the napkin and the sandwich pile he'd been building meticulously right out of his hands. She smiled, prettily. "Thank you, dear."

Never the one to be angry for long, Naruto smiled back and began building a second sandwich Mount Everest.

"Naruto!" The voice came from behind them, easily cut over the din of the people talking all around them. When Ino turned, she saw one of the guys from the Institute of Optical Physics.

"Hey, Kiba," Naruto returned, his trademark grin shifting to high voltage. Sakura took the opportunity to deposit some of the cucumber she did not like back onto his sandwich. "How is it?"

"Same old," Kiba drawled and winked at Sakura and Ino. "You going for the annual spring meeting of the national physicist society next month?"

"Nope." Ino shrugged. "Got nothing to present there."

"Awww, pity." The stocky guy dragged his hand through his already messy hair. "Most of us are going, as usual. We'll miss you at the after-show party."

"Don't make it sound like it's _not_ some kind of national nerd meeting," Sakura laughed.

And Ino would forever hate herself for not having noticed before. But then, Kiba turned slightly to include a fifth person into their small circle, and she saw him.

"Have you met Shikamaru? He joined us this spring. He will complete his PhD at our institute."

"Hi," Sakura said.

Brown hair, brown eyes. Ignoring the world. The white, artificial light did not flatter his features. He had looked more alive outside, despite his careless attitude.

The guy from the courtyard nodded at her wordlessly. And then looked at Ino, and … _something_ happened.

Ino wasn't sure she liked it.

"Hi," she nodded back, carefully. And, because she was the one they expected to make the conversation, and because Kiba and Naruto launched into some rendition of their newest computer games, she asked: "How long have you been in Leaf now?"

"Couple of months," he replied, curtly. Not unfriendly. Not friendly, either.

"How do you like it?" Ino tried flashing her smile, bright and easy.

He frowned at her, in return. "It's okay."

Silence.

"What are you working on?" Sakura asked, cheerfully, and he turned his head to look at her.

It seemed he did manage to use more than three words in a row.


	6. 6

**6/25**

Monday.

Sakura was at a project meeting, which meant Naruto didn't join them for lunch. Which, in return, meant Ino was on her own – if she did not want to hunt down Kakashi to blackmail him into eating with her, and endure an increasingly awkward lunch as he just shoveled food into his mouth without taking his eyes from whatever he was reading now.

Which she didn't.

So she went to the cafeteria all by herself, uneasiness pooling in the pit of her stomach. Maybe he wasn't there today. Maybe…

Of course he was.

She could either walk past him and nod in greeting – if he even deigned to look at her – or she could just go over and say hello. And, damn her brain, the second she had decided for option one and walked past him and some part of it said _fuck you._

Ino always had hated her instincts. She tended to make decisions quickly in case she regretted not having made them on time. That, however, only meant she made the wrong ones, often, and going back to fix her messes was inordinately painful. One should think she learned from her mistakes.

"Troublesome woman."

Unexpectedly, his greeting made her nerves disappear instantly as they were replaced with surprised annoyance.

"What a nice thing to say. Thanks." She dropped onto the wall next to him. The stone was warm.

"You're welcome."

He didn't say anything else, didn't acknowledge her in any other way, so Ino just opened her mouth and started talking, taking occasional bites from her sandwich.

"I hope you didn't mind being roped into the clean-up on Friday. Usually, there are students who take care of it but since this meeting fell into the lecture-free time there were too few around. We probably could have managed without your help, but it definitely was faster that way. By the way, how did you like the talks, I thought they were okay but there seldom is something that actually touches our field of research, it's like-"

She only stopped when he opened his eyes to look at her, shifting his head so they were face-to-face, and she fell silent in a mix of anticipation and _something._

"Are you never silent?"

Ino opened and closed her mouth once. "Rarely," she said, not knowing whether to feel amused or offended.

"Pity," Shikamaru mumbled and finished his sandwich.

There was a lot she could have answered to that.

"I have to go."

What was she doing there, anyway? Just because he was a colleague of Kiba's didn't mean she was bound to talk to him.

"Do you?" Shikamaru asked, managing to look like he was scoffing without moving a muscle in his face.

"Yes, I do," she returned, annoyance rising now in earnest.

"Well, don't let me keep you."

Ino stalked away, feeling her anger flare up, hot and uncontrolled.

Not that she cared, though. He was just some guy sitting there, spending his lunch breaks in the university courtyard.


	7. 7

**7/25**

For Shikamaru Nara, there were two types of people that existed in the world.

The first were the people that were generally tolerable. That went their own ways, lived their own lives and left him to live his life as he pleased. The second were the troublesome ones: the ones that were generally annoying. Those that pretended to be friends in order to present his own work as theirs, that tried to get him to date women they thought suitable, the ones that rolled their eyes at him and called him lazy.

And then, there was Ino Yamanaka.

The days following their meeting in the courtyard (Shikamaru had found it largely entertaining, actually, but he could already see that would only be his own personal opinion) he saw her trice; twice during lunch in the courtyard, once at the bus stop, in the evening. She still was alone, her constant shadows in pink and blond suspiciously absent. When she crossed the courtyard during midday she ignored him, stalking by without turning her head. In the evening, at the bus stop, she had headphones on. She didn't see him but he doubted she would have seen anyone at that moment. Her expression was far, far away.

He wondered what she was listening to.

The yellow light of the bus stop lantern fell across her blond hair and made it shine, but her face was in the shadows. It was oddly appropriate; and he couldn't look away.

There hadn't been a woman like this in his life ever before.

Shikamaru wondered about her quite a lot. What did eat for lunch? What did she work on? Why did she frown, sometimes, and what caused the tiny smile on her face on other days? Where was she from, what kind of music did she like, was she reading novels on her eBook reader or papers for work? He already knew that she was in her second year of her PhD, just like him, that she had studied chemistry and economy and switched to chemistry then, that she worked in the new science building (the one immediately connected to the humanities building) and that she was polite enough usually but would switch to an almost snarky teasing mode with people she liked. He didn't know why she seemed to react so viciously towards him, and why, and whether there were others that brought out her ire like he seemed to do. He also didn't know how she would look like if she ever had to concede defeat, and he wondered.

He wanted to know.

What a stupid notion, this current fascination of his. She was too troublesome to think of further; too proud and too easily riled up. Too pretty, too involved, too self-conscious. She was everything Shikamaru could not stand.

Nevertheless, the next time he saw her in the courtyard, passing through accompanied by pink-haired girl and blond guy, he fixated her until their eyes met.

She flushed with anger. Shikamaru smirked.


	8. 8

**8/25**

Wednesday afternoon, when Sakura entered the office they shared with two other PhD students, Ino was already waiting for her.

"You asked him!"

There was accusation in her face, and clear in her voice. Sakura had yet to find out why her bestest friend in the world had taken such a dislike to a guy she wouldn't even deign to talk to on normal days, but Ino was Ino. Sakura put her bag on the window sill and slipped into her desk chair, switched on her computer and adjusted a stack of papers she had to read. (Sometime. Preferably _soon_.) Then, she turned towards her friend.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't be stupid. You asked that guy whether he wanted to go out with us tomorrow night!" Ino was seething. It had been quite some time since she had been as incensed as she was now.

"Naruto sent out the reminders," Sakura said, calmly, and opened the drawer in search of a pencil. "Kiba invited Shikamaru and another friend of his along. I don't see what's wrong with that."

Ino huffed, wordlessly, a clear indication at the fact that she could not see any reason Shikamaru should _not_ be invited. But she clearly also did not see any reason as to why he should _come along_ , either.

"I bet that guy doesn't even like movies anyway," she finally said. "I bet neither you nor Naruto and twenty horses would get him to see a Sneak Preview."

"I don't bet."

"Yeah, yeah," Ino waved her off. "You'll see. He probably prefers to watch TV at home. If he watches TV at all. Probably it's too troublesome for him." And then, after a few seconds of silence which Sakura very much appreciated and decided she would try to finish the data analysis just now so it would be done, Ino opened her mouth again.

"I don't like him."

 _You don't have to come._ But casting Ino out of the group that had come together in order to go to the cinema once every week would have been cruel; she, after all, had been there with them from the beginning.

"It's just one night, Ino."

"That's easy for you to say. He doesn't pick fights with you every second."

Sakura, wisely, pretended not to have heard her friend. To her knowledge, Ino and Shikamaru had met precisely three times: on the Faculty Day, during an institute seminar held in the Physics Institute, and once during a lunch break in which Kiba and Naruto had discussed a joint project and Shikamaru and Ino had tagged along. She hadn't expected them to go at each other like that, especially since Shikamaru seemed like nothing could faze him. But then, he definitely wasn't the one who _fought_ , he just _discussed._ Somehow, it always … branched out. Maybe they would find common ground if they all went out together one evening.

Sakura resolved to wait and see.

Of course, Shikamaru showed up the next night.


	9. 9

_A/N: I got distracted yesterday evening, and completely forgot to update! I apologize sincerely to those following this story - thank you for your support!_

* * *

 **9/25**

She had known it would happen.

Of course it was impossible to deny Naruto's friends the right to invite whomever they wanted. It was similarly stupid to not go just because the person she liked least would be there, too. The stupid thing was: she did not _dislike_ him. She liked his intelligence, and his sight. She just did not like how he used both against her.

The regular movie theater evenings Naruto had established with his friends from school a long time ago and which he had continued on at the university – which, she suspected, had been one of the major tactics in his courtship of Sakura – slowly started getting out of hand.

Probably nobody cared, except for Ino.

She couldn't fathom why it was that way. Shikamaru just seemed to hover at the edge of their group and yet the guys had quickly adjusted to him and his friend Chouji, who was studying to be a nutritionist and dreamed of taking over his father's restaurant. Mostly, he'd hang back and listen. But now and then he would throw in a lazy comment and all the guys would laugh and agree. Or a discussion would start, one of those meaningful ones, one of those in which Ino found herself silenced because she did not know much about politics and history. Sometimes, he didn't even say a word and still he was part of the group. For Ino, who firmly believed in society's rules – socialize, interact, smile, remain superficial – what he did was something close to sacrilege. How could someone stand apart from a group, and yet _be_ part of it? How could he present so different opinions, and yet never incite a discussion that went out of hand? Shikamaru never argued, never got caught in heated exchanges, never used illogical arguments. He approached everything calmly and rationally. Maybe that was why everyone liked him.

Shikamaru only argued with Ino.

"It made no sense," he said, after the third movie installment of an adaption of one of Ino's favorite books. "How can so few people keep the others in check? And what happened to the rest of the continent? Where are the people?"

"The movie is based on a YA novel," Sakura said. "The background was never fleshed out completely."

Shikamaru shrugged. "It's about the complete context. How can one tenth of the population be in complete control of the rest? It's logistically impossible."

"The book isn't about military politics, statistics and logistics," Ino argued, enraged, knowing she would lose the argument. She always did. "It's about the decisions people made when faced with an extreme situation. On how propaganda can influence peoples' minds. The movie was _good_."

"One does not need a brain to enjoy things."

Ino opened her lips to retort and closed them again. Glared at him, instead. There were a myriad of swear words she had in store, most of them reserved just for him. It was the strangest thing, even stranger than her strange attraction.

Usually, Ino waited until she got to know people better before she called them names, but Shikamaru was proving to be an exception.


	10. 10

**10/25**

Ino Yamanaka.

Only daughter. Doctorate student. Lover of music, cake and cinema. Polite towards strangers, ironic and witty with her friends: a hard-working woman with a sense for fashion and a surprising - and well-hidden - streak of self-consciousness.

He hadn't needed much time to deduce that much about her. People were something that came to him quickly; as did most of the things that made up the world. He had encountered many people like her before. He just hadn't found anyone so normal, so average, and yet so fascinating.

Shikamaru, usually, went out of his way to avoid women, especially the troublesome ones. But with Ino… It was different. There was something in her that made it fun watching her getting worked up.

"If you think that, you're obviously radically left."

"Listen to you, liberalism here, liberalism there, the liberal party got all cozy with the industry the last time they were in power-"

"This country needs liberalism. It's one of the fundamental pillars of democracy." And then, he smirked at her. " _Everybody_ knows that."

This time, she kicked his shin. _Seriously, woman?_ And either by accident or on purpose – she was stronger than she looked, tall and curvy as she was – she hit the nerves running along the outer shin bone, and _dammit_ , it hurt.

Shikamaru just grinned and watched as his non-reaction to her assault made her flush with anger.

"Don't fight, kids," Naruto said and Ino's venomous glance was golden.

Naruto, wisely, ducked his head and disappeared from the kitchen again, mumbling something about helping Sakura. Which left Ino at the sink and Shikamaru leaning against the counter. He had already resolved to dry the dishes after she had washed them, but it could wait a little bit longer. Just until…

"Are you going to help or just stand there like a jerk?" Ino snapped.

Grinning, Shikamaru grabbed the towel and a frying pan. "You're only this annoying when I'm there, aren't you?"

"Don't feel flattered," she shot back. "You bring it out in me."

He chuckled softly. "What a nice thing to say."

She stopped scrubbing the pot. A few strands of hair had escaped from the bun at the top of her head and fell into her eyes, her face was flushed and her arms covered with soap bubbles up to her elbows. She was pretty, to say the least.

"Well, what goes around…"

"Touché."

He continued watching her, bemusedly, and marveled at the fire in her eyes. Oh heck, what was he doing? He'd always wanted a silent, peaceful girlfriend, hadn't he? Ino was the epitome of trouble.

And he did not care in the least.

Shikamaru smirked.

"So, what happens next? It's the first time I'm invited to one of your precious dinners, after all. What did they promise you for coming here knowing I would be, as well?"

Her glare would have evaporated water.


	11. 11

**11/25**

"Why do you dislike him that much?"

Sakura was looking at Ino from across her living-room table. Through the open window light and birdsong fell into the room like water, summer slowly leaving behind spring.

"Hm?" Ino was listening to music. The piece was moving towards the climax, the soft notes of the instruments gaining strength and painting light and colors behind her closed eyelids. It was the most beautiful part of the concert, one she could never hear too often.

"Shikamaru," Sakura said. "Why do you dislike him that much?"

The main theme. Beautiful, thrilling notes, clear as–

"But I don't dislike him," Ino said, absent-minded, as the music's main theme flowed into another motif. Realizing what she had said only seconds later, she glanced up in mortification and found herself confronted with Sakura's tell-tale grin. "What? No! I mean, I don't really like him. He's arrogant and annoying. I don't know how you can stand him."

"Uhh-huu," Sakura said, in a tone that clearly stated _and I am the queen mother to the King of Spain._ "You lied better when we were children."

Ino felt her face close up, like it always did when she felt hurt. It was so predictable, really, and terribly childish. Still, she couldn't help it.

(Sometimes, she wondered whether Sakura knew. They were best friends, had been so since childhood. Did Sakura see what Ino see? Could she feel what Ino felt? Was she able to read her completely? Or would they forever just be the people who were there but didn't know what was inside each other's minds?)

"I just can't _stand_ him."

But that was not the issue, and she knew it. She had watched him sitting in the courtyard every lunch break for such a long time that she couldn't even remember when it had started, and then she had gotten to know him. And somehow… Somehow, Shikamaru Nara got under her skin.

"You are the only one he talks to on a regular basis."

"Just to argue, I can assure you."

"Naruto and I argue the whole time."

Ino sighed. "He talks to me just to provoke me, Sakura. He's not interested in actually hearing what I think."

"I don't think so. It's just…" Sakura hesitated. "It's just when you start arguing you react so… exaggeratedly."

"You think I'm being a bitch?" He was everywhere. At the university, on their evenings out, over for dinner. In her head. And now he was even invading her friendship, pulling Sakura on his side. Making all of this _her_ fault.

"Ino," Sakura said, gently. "You're my best friend and I want to see you happy. And, clearly, you are interested in him. Why not ask him out?"

"Still my own decision," Ino snapped back.

Sakura shook her head. "Sometimes," she said, "you really are a very difficult person, do you know that?"

 _Troublesome woman,_ a voice whispered in her head, and Ino refused to listen to it.


	12. 12

**12/25**

"Naruto," Sakura said.

Naruto's hand, which was holding a spoon over his beloved noodle soup, froze in mid-air as his girlfriend used her _we need to talk_ -voice. Had he done anything stupid? Had he forgotten something in the morning? His brain raced through the past hours, then days. They had fought over something or other last Friday – he couldn't really remember, but it had been forgotten the next day, either way – and there had been the issue with the groceries shopping. But Naruto had finally accepted that Sakura should not be the only one to go shopping every week just because she passed by the supermarket on her way home, and they had agreed on a schedule. So that couldn't be it, could it?

"Yes?" He answered, cautiously, his eyes searching for hers. Sakura was gazing out of the window of the cafeteria, her gaze focused on something.

Some _one_ , Naruto realized. Shikamaru's brunette head was barely visible over the bushes, but both of them knew he was there. Sitting on the same wall as every day, his eyes closed.

 _Oh, thank God!_

This wasn't about them, then. Cheerfully, he ladled the spoon full of soup into his mouth and waited.

"Ino and Shikamaru are not talking to each other anymore."

Naruto shrugged. "They probably have been fighting again. Don't worry, they'll get over it."

Sakura shook her beautiful head. "No, it's more. I don't know." She bit her lip in thought. "Ino isn't talking about it, but she looks… sad."

 _Sad_. Not an adjective Naruto would have associated with Ino Yamanaka. At best, she was polite, and at worst, she was full of irony bordering on arrogance. He had no idea how Sakura and she had become best friends in the first place: they were so incredibly different. Sakura was an angel, while Ino… Well.

"Do you think something happened between them?" Naruto knew very well what was expected from him now.

Sakura bit her lower lip again, deep in thought. "Maybe."

"Wouldn't she tell you?" He prompted, carefully.

"Usually yes, but…" Her voice drifted off and as she lifted her head, Naruto could see the hurt in her eyes. "She won't talk to me. I gave her time and just waited. I tried to talk to her. But she doesn't want to."

Naruto abandoned his noodle soup to put an arm around Sakura. Carefully, he pulled her into a hug. She fell against him gladly.

"Don't worry. I'm sure everything will be alright."

Maybe. Or maybe not. He couldn't say, but he knew what needed to be said. Either way, he'd scour the world for a solution if it was Sakura who needed one.

Her face buried in his shirt, Sakura nodded. Naruto cast another glance towards where Shikamaru sat in the courtyard and caught Ino approaching with hurried steps. When she saw the physicist, her entire body seemed to coil in tension. But she walked past him without acknowledging him, her back a ramrod-straight plane of disregard.

 _Uh-oh,_ Naruto thought.


	13. 13

**13/25**

She was reading a paper.

It was one of the nasty ones that had almost nothing to do with her topic of research but that _somewhere_ held the bit of information she really, really needed. She only had to find it. And she couldn't concentrate for the life of her.

This was getting ridiculous.

Ino cursed, silently, and dropped her head onto the desk. Luckily, it was a weekend and she was alone in the apartment she shared with two roommates – and a cat. The place was blessedly quiet. Quiet enough for her to concentrate on what she was trying to puzzle out for quite some time now. Unfortunately, it also was quiet enough for all the things she was very hard trying _not_ to think about to surface in her mind quite rudely.

The way Shikamaru's hands moved when he explained something, cautious and determined. The way his smirk never seemed wide enough and yet reached his eyes – just barely. The way he could look at nothing, pass over a group of students and a dozen of ducklings and a child feeding them and a courtyard as if they all were nonexistent. It was as if an entire world would disappear before his sightless gaze until he finally focused on something, and this certain element suddenly would receive the full brunt of his attention. The way his eyes seemed to burn into her whenever he looked at her.

It was always then when Ino looked away.

 _Stupid, stupid, stupid woman,_ she thought. _Are you in love with the most annoying man in the world?_

And, because she was nothing but honest, her answer followed immediately.

 _I don't know._

A blackbird's song erupted outside, insistent warning calls that broke off suddenly as the bird took flight.

 _Ridiculous. When was the last time you just talked to him?_

She couldn't remember.

It would have been too easy, saying she was attracted to him. In the beginning, it had been just this: fascination. Now that she knew him better she dreaded the moments she would be alone with him – while, at the same time, her heart sped up in anticipation. _In love._ The expression made her laugh. What did she know about love? She'd either never been in love before, or she was just unable to feel it. Maybe it just wasn't for her. In the course of her past relationships she had _liked_ her partners, of course she had. It was, after all, kind of a requirement for a partnership But had she _loved_ someone before? She didn't think so. The word sounded too grand, too dangerous. Like she would have to give herself up completely in order to understand it, and the thought was terrifying. Love made fools out of people.

… Just like Ino was making a fool of herself just now.

Ino hated the person she was when Shikamaru was near: impolite and snappy, easily annoyed. Hateful.

She just couldn't say that she hated Shikamaru, as well.


	14. 14

**14/25**

Ino loved all seasons. But it was summer she loved most.

"It can't be much better in here. Let's check it out."

A quick knock, and Tenzo and Shisui stepped into the room. Ino looked up from the data she was plotting.

"Don't mind us," Tenzo said, lifting a thermo sensor into the air.

"I don't have to have that to break into a sweat in here," Shisui moaned, still, he eyed the display. "Thirty-two point five degrees Celsius! You officially have the stuffiest office in the entire institute, Ino."

"Thanks," Ino said, both amused and ironic. "Our windows do face southwards."

That wasn't just it. It was the middle of summer, hot and glaring, and inside, it was swelteringly hot. Even the usually cool basement labs were too warm to work in comfortably.

"This university is a hell hole!" Shisui sighed dramatically. He was a brilliant scientist, but he hid his brilliant mind behind a moronic façade. It was funny, most of the time. "Who builds a place out of _wood_? And without _air conditioning?_ Sue the architect!"

"This building won a prize." Tenzo sounded as dry as the Sahara, which was quite fitting. Like Shisui, he was _good._ Sometimes, Ino wondered whether it was genetic that most scientists were brilliant with their work – and not so much when it came to human interaction.

"We shouldn't be working at all," Shisui lamented as Tenzo unobtrusively and with a skill that spoke of many years of practice manhandled him towards the door again. "It's summer, for God's sake."

The door closed behind them.

Ino smiled after them. The heat was uncomfortable, yes. But the sight of the blue sky, the sunshine and the blue wisteria in front of her window were beautiful. _Precious._ Who knew how many more summers like this she'd have left?

When Ino left the building, three hours later, Shikamaru was sitting on a bench in the shadows. When she approached, he opened his eyes, as if he had known exactly that it was her. Ino froze for a second and then forced her legs to continue onward.

"Hi."

He'd been clearly waiting for someone. _For her._

Her heart fluttered, and she clamped down on it determinedly.

"I'll buy you ice cream."

So much for a greeting.

"Excuse me?"

"Ice-cream," he said again, and there it was, just as she had known it would be: the tiny smile that could have been condescension had it not been for the tiny lights in his eyes. _Since when?_ "My treat."

Ino was following him before her brain even realized that she had made a decision.

She caught the smirk he gave her – because of course, he had noticed her reaction – and, for the entire way to the café, refused to meet his gaze again. His smirk only widened.

The sweetness of peppermint-and-chocolate was soothing. Shikamaru, next to her, polished off his own treat and, for a change, didn't say anything.

She could still feel his eyes on her.


	15. 15

**15/25**

Shikamaru didn't like the summer season.

These days, only the night brought relief from the oppressing air. The heat wafted up from the river and over the hills and laid itself onto the village like a heavy, dampening blanket. It crept through the alleys, along the canals and over the fields. The university courtyard was stifling and empty.

Shikamaru didn't like the heat, but he liked the cooling evening draft all the more. Especially on evenings like this.

The river sparkled in the evening light, silver and blue. Naruto and Kiba were standing next to the barbecue, each one a bottle of beer in their hands. Sakura and Hinata were chatting softly. Chouji was polishing off a bag of chips, while Shino had his face buried in a book. And Ino… Ino had been listening to her friends, but now she was stacking paper cups and paper plates into a bag.

"Stop cleaning up, troublesome woman," Shikamaru told her. "You're ruining the mood."

Her hand stopped.

He knew her well enough now to predict her reactions. It was simple, really. The way her face froze, minutely, and the grey-blue of her eyes turned icy. She had been quiet before, but it had been a peaceful silence. Now, it shifted –

But she did not explode.

She just sank back onto the chair and gathered her hands into her lap. And, suddenly, Shikamaru regretted having said anything. Usually, she bit back at him whenever he annoyed her. For some reason, however, not today. Her gaze swept over the river banks and out onto the river. Somehow, her silent acceptance was worse than any angry retort she could have thrown at him.

"Are you not going to snap at me today?" _Smooth, Shikamaru._

Ino just looked at him and then turned her face away again. Something in her shoulders and the way her hair fell over her face spoke of more than defeat.

He didn't like it.

He didn't know what to do about it, either, so he just continued watching her. The sun sank and the stars came up. They gathered the remnants of their meal, cleaned up and wandered back to the apartment Naruto and Sakura shared. The warm light of the lamps lit up the room. Naruto tickled Sakura, and she almost dropped her wine glass. Their laughter was light-hearted. Kiba was entertaining Hinata with stories about his and Shino's high school years. Chouji and Shino discussed, quietly.

Ino said her good bye, smiling at Sakura and into the circle, and left.

The room did not change without her. It was strange, how she could be such an integral part of them, but how it sometimes did not seem like she was missing even after she had left. It was a paradox, one Shikamaru couldn't wrap his head around. One he hadn't noticed before. Why had he not noticed it before?

"Shikamaru?"

Sakura's voice was questioning. Everyone was looking at him, their expressions ranging from unsurprised to wondering.

"It's late," Shikamaru said.


	16. 16

**16/25**

The windows of the houses lining the streets were golden lights in the darkness.

From the outside, she could see Naruto's and Sakura's silhouettes against the light: Naruto was tugging at Sakura's braid. She slapped at him, playfully, and he drew her in to hug her. Unheard laughter spilled onto the dark street like something tangible, soothing, but it wasn't enough to illuminate the emptiness within her.

Ino hated days when she felt like that. Tired, weary, exhausted. Lonely. Days when the darkness ate away at her like living doubt.

Turning away brusquely, she squared her shoulders and continued on.

She had barely reached the traffic lights across the street when quick footsteps behind her alerted her. Moving towards the side of the pavement, she steeled herself. Probably just a jogger on his nightly run –

The steps came to halt directly next to her.

"Hey." His face was barely visible, but his presence alone told Ino who it was. Still, she flinched.

He wasn't out of breath from the short run, something she hadn't expected. He didn't particularly look like the athletic type, after all. Shikamaru fell into step next to her, his hands in his pockets.

"You live in the opposite direction," she pointed out.

 _Just leave me alone._

"Yes," was all he said, but he made no move to stop.

 _Don't leave me alone._

For a while, they just walked. They crossed the next street. Automatically, Ino veered into the small passageway along the graveyard that was so dark it looked like the entrance to a bottomless abyss. Shikamaru followed her into the darkness without a word. Quickly, her eyes got used to the missing light, but she refused to look at him.

 _Please._

Finally, he broke the silence that hung between them like a shroud.

"Are you okay?"

Her step faltered. Shikamaru made a motion as if to catch her, but he never touched her.

"Of course," Ino said, a lump in her throat.

"You're not," he contradicted.

"Why do you say that?" Her voice was sharper than she had intended it to be.

He just shrugged. "You don't _look_ fine."

Ino quickened her pace again. "Don't be stupid. You don't know a thing about me."

"Who's pretending to know things now?" He said it without ire, but it ticked her off.

"Why don't you just leave me alone?"

"Because you look like you don't want to be left alone."

His quiet voice was serious. In the darkness, his brown eyes shone softly. _Don't look. Don't look. Don't look at me._ His steps next to her never faltered; his presence so close and yet so far away. She just had to stretch out her hand to touch him, and God, he knew it, he knew she –

It broke from her like water from a dam that had been under too much pressure for far too long.

"Why are you always like that?"

There was nothing playful, mocking or ironic in his voice, only honesty. And something else.

"Because when you're angry with me, you always look like you want to kiss me."


	17. 17

**17/25**

"Ah, Ino, there you are!"

Kakashi stuck his head through their office door.

"Remember the project report we have to turn in in two weeks?" And, when Ino nodded, he continued on, dry as dust: "Turns out the Boss mixed up the date. It's due in three days."

The face of Ino's supervising postdoc was covered halfway by a scarf. Always. How he got through the annual laboratory security briefings – how he had gotten his PhD at all – was a mystery. But his grey eyes above the scarf were scarily sharp, and the mouth hidden underneath it surprisingly dirty. If he put his mind to it, his comments had nothing on Kiba's occasional machismo, Shisui's moments of insanity and Tenzo's quiet, to-the-point irony. Sometimes Ino got the feeling that the weirdest characters unfailingly ended up in their department.

"Three days," she repeated and shot a dirty glance at Sakura, _don't-you-dare-laugh-at-me-what-goes-around-comes-around._ Her friend just grinned. "And he just conveniently forgot about the deadline."

"He didn't forget," Kakashi corrected her. "He just switched the dates. Besides, all the other project partners seem to have forgotten their part of the report, as well."

"So now you need my part until tomorrow?"

Kakashi's eyes crinkled in his usual smile. "You think you can do it?"

Ino shrugged. "Yeah, why not."

"Great. I'll try to locate the other project partners." And off he went. Ino sighed and mentally scrapped anything else from her to-do-list.

"Sounds like fun," Sakura snickered.

"Well." Opening a Word document on her screen, Ino tried to remember where she had saved the last report. She could at least copy-and-paste the format. "Has to be done, I guess."

"By the way." Sakura had turned her chair towards her friend. Her fingers tapped a silent rhythm onto the table top. "Did something happen between you and Shikamaru?"

Ino forced herself to sit still and not flinch. "Why?"

"Because, after the cinema yesterday, you didn't talk to him at all."

"I did," she protested.

Sakura waved her aside. "Saying hi and good bye is not talking."

"I thought I was too impolite towards him, in your opinion." Her voice sounded accusatory and apologetic at the same time. Ino couldn't help herself.

"Did he walk you home Sunday night?" Over the past few years, Sakura had developed the ability to fish in the dark with an accuracy that would have made Ino proud any other day. "I thought I saw you cross the street together. Did something happen?"

"No," Ino said, curtly. "He just accompanied me home."

Sakura sighed, not exasperated, but disappointed. "Did he ask you out?"

Her silence, apparently, was enough for her.

"What did you say, Ino?"

"I said no."

"Hmmm," Sakura made. Thoughtfulness, nothing else. Still, Ino felt as if her best friend was judging her.

She _hated_ that feeling.

"I have a report to write," she said to no one in particular and Sakura turned away.

No amount of distraction was able to make her forget the way Shikamaru looked at her whenever they met.


	18. 18

_A/N: Due to 1) the beautiful month of May, which, in my country, has a lot of religious holiday days, and 2) my boss, who decided to send me on a 3-day conference like, next week, you don't have to prepare a contribution but you /could/ take this and that (read: I /strongly/ suggest you do) - well, long story short: my update schedule is completely screwed up. My apologies!_

 _This early update is thanks to a reviewer who reminded me of update date - that was a first! And thanks to LilyVampire, who always reviews. There quite possibly wouldn't be a story without you! :)_

 _Update dates should be back to normal from here on._

* * *

 **18/25**

Sunday night, two weeks later, and Shikamaru had again opted for accompanying Ino after the dinner with Sakura, Naruto and the others. He was pretty sure the two had exchanged knowing glances when he'd left so shortly after Ino, but he didn't care. He followed the blonde woman down the street and caught up with her at the traffic light.

She didn't say anything. That could have been a good sign, but Shikamaru was too experienced to take anything for granted.

He hadn't seen Ino often in the past two weeks. She'd either skipped out of lunch a few times or had frequented the other cafeteria. He'd tried to not anger her too much on their movie nights, but the only thing he achieved was that she didn't talk to him at all. It was troublesome, to say the least, because he liked the fire in her eyes so much more than the withdrawn, sullen expression she wore now. The red glow of the traffic signal colored her hair crimson.

"This is boring," he finally said, his hands in his pockets. "You're sulking like a little child."

Her reaction was the desired one: she whirled around to glare at him. "Thank you, Mister I'm-so-grown-up. At least I know how not to insult people immediately."

He smirked, he couldn't help it. She sounded much more like herself again.

"What can I say? I try."

Ino snorted disdainfully. "Of course."

The silence that followed at least wasn't as tense as before.

"What I said two weeks ago," Shikamaru finally began, carefully. "I mean it."

Ino suddenly seemed very interested in the pattern of the shadow of the trees' leaves on the ground. The darkness wrapped around them, quietly suffocating. When he had almost given up on getting an answer, she spoke.

"You don't know what you're getting yourself into."

Her voice was eerily final.

"Why?" Shikamaru asked.

Ino shrugged. "Because. I'm not a nice person, you know."

"You seem kind enough to me," he returned. "And politeness is overrated."

She huffed. "If you say so."

"I do."

Ino was watching him from behind a thin veil of silver hair. "Still."

Shikamaru sought out her eyes. "You're still saying you don't want to go out with me?"

"Yes."

Oh, she sounded confident all right. Her voice, her shoulders, her glance: they all screamed of her honesty. It was just that Shikamaru could see the way her fingers folded into each other carefully. Maybe it had been this that had caught his interest in the first place: this tiny, almost unnoticeable sign of insecurity in her almost-perfect façade.

He really liked the way her eyes were both strong and vulnerable.

Shikamaru made sure to hold her gaze. "I don't agree with those who say one just has to ask times and times again, and the answer will change. I'll only ask you two more times. After that, I won't bother you again."

Something flowed into her eyes. To him, it looked suspiciously like fear.


	19. 19

_A/N: Ummm... Seems like I just have to miss an update once or so? *laughs* Thank you for all the feedback!_

* * *

 **19/25**

Ino had long ago trained her body and her mind to do as she wanted them to.

She knew she wasn't as intelligent as Shikamaru, not a natural learner like Naruto and Sakura. She neither had a gift for physics nor for statistics or mathematics. The things she loved – she had no special talent for them. Ino knew she was lacking in many different ways. But she could _work_. She would labor twice as hard as anyone else, believe twice as strongly, three times, a hundred times, whatever it took. And, in the end, everything would work out.

Ino was pretty good at making herself believe. The real traitor was her heart.

 _Pouring summer rain, warm, pleasant, the scent of hot pavement and flowers overpowering, and she walks down the sidewalk of the empty street. There is someone next to her, someone whose face she cannot completely remember or perhaps does not even know. But his presence is familiar. As is the curve of his shoulders and the way he holds himself, and everything in Ino reaches out, Shi–_

And then she wakes up.

"Do you like him?" Sakura had asked.

It is ironic, asinine, really, so futile she wants to cry. There is no answer to this, because there is no question. What is she supposed to do, what to say? Whatever she does, it is impossible to ignore him, impossible to erase him from her thoughts. He follows her even into her dreams.

Ino always knew that the things she dreamed of were things she wished to have – and things she was afraid of. With him, it is both.

Shikamaru isn't only clever: he sees too much. He sees the things Ino wants to hide, the things she wants neither herself nor anyone else to see. It makes him dangerous. He says the things she would have left unspoken, mentions the things she fears to be mentioned. He is everything she doesn't want to be or maybe she does and it's the reason for _everything_. Shikamaru looks at her in a way that makes her want to fall into him. He is kind, he is humorous, attentive and thoughtful. His brand of politeness is different to hers, more brash, he doesn't resort to white lies but is polite in his honesty. He makes her want to let go, to stop thinking, stop predicting, to just accept and wait for whatever is to happen. But letting go equals giving up, and there is nothing Ino despises more.

Not being in control is _terrifying_.

Being with Shikamaru is scary, because he looks at her and she is lost.

 _Do you like him?_

It's not about like and dislike. Sakura thinks in that kind of categories: _always, we make love with our hearts_. But it's not that easy. It never is. As it never is the fault of one person alone: Shikamaru has done nothing wrong. The one hesitating isn't him.

Ino is realistic like that.

Paradox: how can you fall in love with someone else if you don't love yourself?


	20. 20

**20/25**

Shikamaru wasn't prone to imagining stuff.

Of course not.

There was little logic in it, after all. But if asked, he would have to confess to having _thought_ about Ino. As so often (another reason why he didn't fantasize), thoughts fell short in the face of reality.

"Okay, okay, wait a second."

Shikamaru had the dim notion he shouldn't be doing what he was doing just then – namely, holding her by her shoulders and at arm's length _away from him_ – when everything he'd done in the past months had been to get her _exactly_ _there_.

The sudden change was mind-blowing.

Shikamaru prided himself in being a person who understood exceptionally fast and whose cerebral functions were above average. But even he struggled to find a satisfactory explanation as to why the woman who had refused to go out with him for the past few months suddenly was kissing him.

Of course, Ino did not give him a reason. She just looked at him – straight at him, he noticed, in a way she hadn't done since the day he'd looked up in the university courtyard for the first time and had met her eyes – and her eyes were _blue_. It shouldn't have been possible – Shikamaru seldom cared for other people's eye color, though he would save the information somewhere – but he'd noticed hers immediately. Had noticed – but hadn't really realized, apparently, because the only thing he could think just then was _is it possible to have eyes like that?_ Ino just looked at him, a confusing mixture of emotions in her eyes, and Shikamaru's brain stopped working.

This time, Ino didn't give him any time to catch her. She inched forward, dove through the barrier of his arms quickly and kissed him. Her lips landed on his rather awkwardly, because he was so tall and she had to stand on the tips of her toes. She remedied that by wrapping her arms around his neck and drawing him down, and suddenly her lips were on his, warm and soft.

 _Oh._

Ino kissed him with everything she had, apparently, and Shikamaru wondered why she had suddenly made up her mind, and whether she _had_ made up her mind, and if so, what had been the reason. She tasted sweet and bitter at the same time, coffee and sugar, peppermint and honey. He sighed in defeat and kissed her back, evaluating the possible outcomes of her actions. Was this a promise? An apology? A good bye?

And then he decided it didn't really matter. His questions could wait until…

Until Later. _Definitely_ later.

When they were not standing in the darkness in front of her house. When her lips didn't distract him that much, or the press of her hands on his shoulder blades, or the scent of her hair. Maybe later, he would be able to accurately trace how this had happened, how a simple good-bye from his side had turned into something like this when, a week before, she hadn't even been able to look at him, much less touch him.

When–


	21. 21

**21/25**

"Ino-"

"I need to go."

Oh, damn this woman. Damn her to the deepest depths of hell – only Shikamaru did not really mean it, not like that, anyway. But why, why, _why_ in the name of everything that was holy was she back to ignoring him again?

 _Damn her._

There was a saying. It had been coined by a scientist, naturally, as he had early realized that scientists had much more intelligent things to say than many poets and writers. Granted, the latter category managed to wrap their words into intricate and lyrical images, but the main message was what counted, anyway. Einstein, Newton and other scientists had found much more straight-forward, true words than their writer friends could ever have stated in less than three stanzas and two short stories.

 _Repeating the same process again and again in the hopes of a different outcome: this is the definition of insanity._

Shikamaru was, at heart, a realist. Romance wasn't his field of research, emotion never would be something he dealt with happily. He was ready to accept certain things – like and dislike he could understand, and even love and hate – but that didn't mean he had to take a liberal approach to feelings in general. No matter his emotions towards Ino: he wouldn't try to get her to change her mind innumerable times. He'd made his point clear and had asked her out. He'd wait some time, ask her a second time. Maybe a third. But he certainly wouldn't wait forever for her to make up her mind. It wasn't fair to him, and it also wasn't fair to her, either.

 _But she had kissed him first._

"Shikamaru- Shikamaru! Wait!"

Shikamaru wasn't an idiot. He knew the worst he could get would be a charge for sexual harassment, and he was quite determined to not let it get that far. A no was a no, after all, not a yes in the making.

He kissed her, lightly. His lips lingered – he couldn't help himself – and Ino pushed him away.

Almost before her hands made contact with his chest he was already stepping backwards, the taste and the feel of her causing a jumble of emotions tearing into his heart. _You kissed me, too!_ Damn her. _There is someone next to me…_ Canon for three to four multiple personalities, eh.

"You can't simply-"

"Why not?" He asked, frowning at her. "You kissed me without warning, as well. You could say now was my turn."

"But…"

"Yes?"

"Shikamaru…"

She looked so desperate, so torn and _small_ , that he didn't know what else to say. _I want you?_ Too forceful. _I need you?_ Too true. _I love you?_ Not quite there yet, are we. _Just give it up, idiot._ For an odd second, he thought he couldn't breathe, but the moment passed. He wouldn't force her. Never. If she didn't want him, she didn't want him.

 _Damn her._

Cursing under his breath he whirled around on his heels, shoved his hands into his pockets and walked away.

* * *

 _A/N: Many thanks to all of you who continue to read and review this story of mine! **Paosu** , I am sorry for replying here, but when I try to send you a message a spam alert pops up (?!). Thank you for your reviews! I hope you will like the following chapters, too. :) And greetings to the anonymous guest whose four-word review on ch. 3 really made me laugh. _


	22. 22

_A/N: I'm not yet asleep (just so), so it's still Wednesday, I guess...?_

* * *

 **22/25**

Shikamaru was not in the courtyard anymore.

Ino rarely saw him anymore. Every time she passed through the open space full of students she felt a stab of shame: was it her who had banished him from his favorite spot? Had she finally managed to push him away? Did he hate her now? Reason was powerless against the surge of guilt that seemed her constant companion these days.

That, and something else.

It was the beginning of a new semester. Students were everywhere; loud, energetic, carefree. Naruto, Sakura and Ino were busy juggling them, lab courses, project meetings, conference registration, paper submissions and their own work. Shikamaru probably was busy, as well.

"Oh, for the love of _God_!"

Sakura, busy with her data, didn't even spare her a glance.

Twice, now.

Ino's father, a successful business man, had taught his daughter early on how to look at people. How to assess them from what they were wearing, for how they moved, talked and behaved. Where did they come from, how did they live? Ino was not half as good in guessing as her father was – she'd never be his equal, and he knew – but some things she knew. There were certain things that stood out in a person, that made him unique. Small details most people did not notice, but that, once known, would prevent them from ever mistaking one for another.

Twice already Ino had shifted through the people crowing the city center. Twice she had started at the sight of a tall figure, a familiar set of shoulders. Twice, she had frozen, in the middle of the street: twice, she had reached out. _Wait!_ His name was right on the tip of her tongue, both times.

The first time, the man had turned around and Ino had realized her mistake. The second time, a woman had latched onto his arm. The intensity of emotion that rushed through her had been astounding. It hadn't been Shikamaru then, either.

So he was able to make her fall this low.

(Irony: she might mistake other people for him, but it was impossible to mistake him for someone else.)

 _Why did you kiss him?_

She was far past the answer to that question already. She was so far past she almost, _almost-_

But letting go was frightening _._ Just giving herself up, allowing one person to be the focus of all the thoughts and feelings and _want_ inside her – it was _terrifying._ And still, she wanted to see him so badly she couldn't breathe.

"Sakura," Ino asked and tried to sound completely casual, "How about dinner, this week?"

Sakura looked up. "It's been a while, right? With all the work, and then Hinata and Kiba were on holidays. Let me ask Naruto."

Movie nights had been put on hold, as well, for the lack of acceptable movies they could agree on watching that were currently running in the cinemas.

Shikamaru's parents were visiting him that weekend. He wouldn't be able to make it on Sunday.

The weeks passed.


	23. 23

_A/N: I'm not in town on Wednesday. I'll see what I can do about the update. My apologies in advance! Enjoy the chapter._

* * *

 **23/25**

The beginning of another semester: students everywhere. In the classrooms, hallways, the cafeteria. _Everywhere._ The possibility of finding him in that crowd should have been statistically impossible, but there they went.

The courtyard was packed, everyone wanting to enjoy the warm October sun.

His eyes were closed, his face unreadable. His shoulders were slumped, slightly. If she hadn't know him so well she wouldn't have noticed.

When had she started to look at him and see _more_?

"… steak buffet," Naruto said.

"The queue will be endless," Sakura sighed. "Ino, what-"

Ino didn't even pretend to be looking anywhere else but at Shikamaru.

From the corner of her eyes she could see her friend take Naruto's arm, pushing past her. They were lost in the crowd quickly. Ino didn't spare a second for relief. There was so much else she felt, hesitation, fear, insecurity, relief…

It was too much.

She couldn't even remember having made a conscious decision.

She just walked forward. Slowly at first, allowing herself the change of mind she was sure was about to strike. Nothing happened. Her breath constricting, she balled her fists, relaxed her hands again, consciously, but she still was moving. Shikamaru's eyes snapped open abruptly and focused on her as if he had known she was there all along. Maybe he had, she thought, absentmindedly, and catalogued all the things her eyes took in: the way his dark eyes widened slightly and then narrowed again. His slender hands, seemingly relaxed but so very tense at the same time. The way his shoulders straightened, as if in expectation of _something_.

Twenty-one.

Twenty-two.

Twenty-three.

She could feel his gaze on her across the entire courtyard. Ino felt herself flush scarlet, but still her feet were carrying her forward.

Twenty-five–

BANG.

She stopped short before she would run into a group of first-years who had stopped abruptly, possibly searching for the entrance to the cafeteria. The look one of the girls shot her was one of poorly hidden terror, mingled with a flustered apology.

"Sorry," Ino not quite _snapped_ and veered around them, leaving them standing in the middle of the path, _oh_ _please_ , and Shikamaru was still there, hadn't moved a centimeter.

Was still looking at her.

Had _always_ been looking at her.

The realization was staggering. Ino's heart slammed against her ribcage, painfully, as she stopped in front of him: she was forced to look down to meet his eyes. It was… _different_. And it wasn't. He glanced up at her, unreadable eyes in an impassive face – expectant, alien, _familiar_. Ino searched for the words, her throat so full of them it ached, and came up dry. Her feet refused to turn around again. Defeated, she dropped down onto the wall next to him and gripped her own hands in her lap tightly, not daring to look at him.

And something in him _shifted._

Ino could _feel_ it – maybe he relaxed, or unwound, or simply changed his position so slightly it was barely recognizable. Maybe he let out a breath. Maybe he didn't.

 _Forty-nine._

 _Fifty._

 _Oh,_ Ino thought, dizzy. _I get it. Falling is a continuous process._


	24. 24

**24/25**

"I got a feeling," Sakura sang.

Naruto looked over at his girlfriend, amused. She had entered the living-room not a minute ago, had dropped down on the couch and was reading something on her phone's screen.

"You got plans for tonight?"

"Huh? What?" She turned to look at him, quizzically. "Why?"

""Cause tonight's gonna be a good night"," he hinted.

Sakura laughed and sat up, carefully depositing her phone on the couch table.

"Oh, no. I was just texting Ino."

"Ah." Naruto grinned. "Our own personal Elsa."

"I know I forced you to watch that movie," Sakura said, mock-shocked. "But I didn't think you'd like it enough to remember the character's names!"

He left it at that, and at an over-exaggerated eye-rolling. "So are she and Shikamaru going out now?"

Sakura quieted considerably. The way her fingers wound a strand of her hair around themselves again and again was a sure sign that she was thinking, and thinking hard.

"What do _you_ think?"

"So she hasn't told you anything."

Her face turned distinctly unhappy. "No."

Naruto had always thought of Ino as a person who only said the things everyone was willing to hear – and only those she wanted them to know. That she hadn't talked to Sakura, who was her closest friend, was… disappointing.

"I'm sure she will, soon," he said.

Sakura nodded. "I know. It's still… She could talk to me any time. She usually does. But with Shikamaru…"

They exchanged a glance, then, Naruto grinned. "It seems there has been some progress there, though, hasn't it?"

He managed to make her smile, and that was what counted.

"Well, if we go from last night's dinner…"

"They didn't fight."

"Or, didn't _really_ fight."

"And she allowed him to help her into her jacket."

"…Such a _gentleman_."

"Sarcasm, meet your master. I hate to disappoint you, my love, but every man knows how to help a woman into her jacket…"

"… And out of her clothes again, no doubt…"

"Sakura!"

She laughed, brightly, and the earlier gloom was forgotten. "I think they're slowly getting used to each other."

"So you're giving them a chance?"

Naruto lunged forward and caught his girlfriend around her hips. With a whoop of delight, she fell sideward and into him. She also, accidentally, elbowed him in the nose. Naruto cursed and bit off the swearword mid-sentence. The pain was rapidly pooling in his abused olfactory appendage.

"I'm sorry!" Sakura stuttered, appalled. "Are you alright? Do you need some ice?"

"I'bn foin," Naruto tried to calm her, but she did not stop her struggles until he dropped his hand from his nose. The pain was receding as fast as it had come. "No blood. I'm fine, don't worry!"

"God," Sakura sighed and let herself fall against him again, this time more carefully. "I'm glad."

Naruto pulled her against him.

"So you think everything will be alright with Ino and Shikamaru?"

Up close, her smile was even more blinding as she flashed it at him like an ID, her green eyes vivid.

"I do think so, actually," she said. "As I said, I got a feeling."

"Uhh-uhh," Naruto said and kissed her.


	25. 25

_A/N: To anyone counting: this indeed is the 25th chapter; and I said at the start that it would end here. Then, I went and added one last chapter. The epilogue will be up next update day._

* * *

 **25/25**

Everything was different now.

Ino should have been angry at him. She should have been embarrassed when he helped her into her coat that evening, annoyed at herself that she actually _let_ him. She should have been angry and embarrassed and annoyed at the same time when he took his jacket and followed her, as if it was the most normal thing in the world. Instead, she was insanely nervous.

Nothing had changed.

Outside, the darkness reached for them with greedy fingers. The nights were getting colder, the sky was clear. The few star constellations she knew she had identified easily but walking while staring into the sky was too difficult. Shikamaru next to her was solid shadow and blurred edges. She knew he was watching her: he had been doing little else for the past few days. His gaze was like a physical touch: too intimate, terrifying and strangely elating at the same time. She couldn't remember ever having been this aware of another person.

They reached the narrow path that led to her home.

"You are slowing," Shikamaru remarked, his voice tearing through her like a lightning bolt.

"You don't have to be here," she bit back, but even she could hear it lacked her usual ire.

He chuckled softly, a sound that made shivers run down her spine. The silence that descended again was full of all the things she did not want to think of and yet couldn't take her mind off _._

As the houses dropped away the full moon became visible; red and golden, beautiful. The lights on the other side of the valley sparkled like a myriad of stars.

There was no place left to run to.

Ino hadn't even been aware of the fact that she had reached out. Her hand touched Shikamaru's arm before she could draw away, met heavy cloth and _warmth._ Against her will, her fingers lingered. Dipped down his arm, until where cloth met skin. His pulse was steady.

He held her hand not like it was something precious, but like he _wanted_ her.

The golden glow of the lamp post outside her apartment painted shadows onto his face she would have loved to paint, too, had she had the talent. He looked back at her, steadily, and Ino's heart slammed against her rib cage.

And then, it calmed.

His head dipped down, as if to kiss her. She could feel his breath on her lips already, felt herself lean in– But then, he rested his forehead against hers.

Ino breathed in deeply, closed her eyes.

 _Shikamaru._

She lifted her head again to smile at him, carefully, afraid of finally falling apart, and–

Nothing happened.

His dark eyes looked at her. Time passed. The world hadn't changed: Ino had.

 _I am in love with you._

She turned away, unlocked the door. Looked back at him. His dark eyes were full of things, overflowing: it made her ache with longing.

She turned again, walked inside. Drew him after her.

Shikamaru followed.


	26. Epilogue

**26/25 - Epilogue**

Irrational, illogical; this sensation: the almost desperate urge to be close to her.

Shikamaru had always regarded himself as a logical person, reasonable and level-headed. It wasn't as if she had influenced him, forced him to be different to his past self or had even actively attempted to change him. It wasn't a tangible thing, it was just…

Just _different._

"We should talk about this."

The shift was instantaneous. He doubted she even realized herself: the way her shoulders dropped, her expression grew weary. The way she avoided his eyes.

"About us? What is it?"

"Nothing."

Weren't those not able to talk about relationships supposed to be male?

"I am sorry."

From the way she kissed him back he was able to read more than she probably wanted to convey. Perhaps even more than she was willing to accept herself.

Shikamaru was nothing but patient.

The week passed, and the next. He spent the nights at her place. Tried to get her to stay at his place: after eight days, she conceded.

It marked the end, and the beginning that grew from it.

She was stubborn like that: once he left her to find her own pace, she caught up with him quickly.

"Shikamaru."

November Sunday afternoon, cold and wet.

"Hm-hmm."

"Are you sure?"

"Hmm?"

She looked at him, her blue eyes wide and haunted. The knowledge of the fact that she was in _his_ place was utterly intoxicating. That she had surrendered. _(Ever the hunter)_ That they were, somehow, tentatively: _together_.

It was unfathomable, this sensation.

Maybe simply pure stupidity. Maybe merely the temporal thrill of having broken down her defenses. Maybe the irrational thought that he wanted to spend his life with her. Maybe just the primal urge to possess her. Maybe, he thought, distinctly: maybe it was love.

"I won't ever be an easy person to love."

He could always pretend not to understand, but she would never believe him. He traced patterns onto her wrist: shapes, numbers, confessions. Her skin was warm and alive under his searching fingers. She did not draw back her hand. The vastness of that small, small victory made him dizzy.

"I don't think anyone ever is."

She bit her lip, her fingers curling into his despite the rigidness that remained poised through her entire body.

"I'm cruel. Those past weeks… I hurt you so much."

"I think you've hurt yourself most of all."

She met his gaze squarely, something like tears but not shining in her eyes.

"Maybe I won't ever be able to change."

He looked at her steadily.

"You don't have to."

And then, finally, she lowered her head, her hair falling into her face and obscuring her eyes. Shikamaru wiped away the tear with his thumb.

"I think I can take whatever you throw at me."

Silence first, and then she cracked a smile. Surprising, sudden, unexpected; all the more stunning.

"You really think so?"

"I do."

Her kiss left him breathless, yearning for more as she rose from the sofa to open up a window. Outside, the sun danced on rainy fall streets, making her hair shine.

The air carried the scent of winter, and her smile was blinding.

 _[Sometimes, we make love with our eyes.  
_ _Sometimes, we make love with our hands.  
_ _Sometimes, we make love with our bodies.  
_ _Always, we make love with our hearts.]_

* * *

 _A/N: My heartfelt gratitude to LilyVampire, DAngel7, paosu and Shikaino-nejiten, who accompanied this story all the way. Who knows what would have happened without you! And thank you to all occasional reviewers, anonymous critics and silent readers. I'm grateful for your support and hope you enjoyed the ride!_


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